How to Become an Au Pair Abroad

Jumping into the journey of how to become an au pair means unlocking a universe of cultural exchange and meaningful moments. Curious about how to write a stand-out au pair family letter, where the best gigs abroad are hiding, or if applying through an agency suits your vibe? 

This guide’s got your back! As an avid traveler and two-time au pair, everything in this guide comes from my own experience and the hours of research (and host family searching) I did in order to find my own au pair adventures.

Read on for advice on finding your perfect host family and rocking your application to become an au pair.

Everything you need to know about how to become an au pair abroad

Should I join an agency to au pair?

In my personal opinion, the answer to this question is simple: If you are required to join an agency to become an au pair in your host country, then yes. One notable case where this is the requirement is for those looking to find au pair jobs in the United States. In the USA, the government stipulates that au pairs and host families must use one of the designated agencies in order to organize their legal au pair stay.

Otherwise, if the country does not mandate that you must use an agency to organize your au pair experience, I don’t recommend it (at least not for Americans). Most families looking to host/hire au pairs don’t go through an agency unless it’s required, because agencies charge additional fees, and to be honest, I haven’t heard of many stories where going through an agency really provided the au pair with additional, meaningful support, structure, etc.

Do your homework on what’s required for the countries you’re interested in au pairing in, and of course follow those rules! But in cases where joining an agency isn’t required, then my personal opinion is that you don’t need to in order to find a great au pair host family… you just need to know where to look.

Do I need a visa to au pair? What are the best countries to be an au pair?

The answer, as with many things, is: it depends. Always check the visa requirements and legal work requirements for all the countries you are considering! AuPairWorld has a fact sheet for each country that lays out the basics, but it’s important to do your own research and fact-checking- preferably directly on the country’s government website.

Here are a few things to keep in mind as you do your research:

1. Consider becoming a summer au pair. It is often easier to au pair for shorter periods of time in countries where you’re not required to have a visa for stays less than 90 days. (Note: the visa-free travel period for U.S. passport-holders to the E.U. will be changing in 2025. Make sure to double-check entry requirements before booking any flights)
   
2. Two of the best countries for Americans to become an au pair in are Australia and New Zealand.
   Why? Because they have well-established working holiday visas that cover working as an au pair! The laws around minimum pay and living deductions for au pairs are also very well regulated in these countries, so the pay tends to be better than other countries.
   
3. Don’t overlook lesser-known destinations! In fact, this is how I ended up au pairing in Guam (the largest island in Micronesia, 2100km east of the Philippines). As an au pair in Guam, my daily routine included stroller walks on the beach, and I spent my days off snorkeling with bright blue starfish!
   And since Guam is a U.S. territory, I didn’t have to worry about visa requirements, extra medical documentation, or even a language barrier! The hardest part about au pairing in Guam was the 20+ hours of flying to get there… 😅

Where to find au pair jobs abroad

1. Create a Profile on AuPairWorld

The first place I recommend looking for au pair jobs is on AuPairWorld. This is the best website out there for finding au pair jobs on your own. It is widely used (in many countries) and works on a profile basis, so au pairs can search host family profiles and vice versa. There is no cost for au pairs to join, and there are no placement fees since you are doing all of the searching & connecting work yourself.

I also strongly suggest reading through AuPairWorld’s extensive resources on the legal aspects of being an au pair, as the regulations are different for every country and you want to make sure you are able to legally be an au pair somewhere (and that you know what host families are legally required to pay you) before you start messaging families.

2. Join Au Pair Facebook Groups

Secondly, I recommend joining country-specific Facebook groups for au pairs and host families – there are tons of groups out there for finding au pair jobs. They are usually location specific, so for instance if you are looking to find the best au pair jobs in New Zealand, you might want to join this group or this group.

The benefit to joining these Facebook Groups is that often, host families will proactively post that they’re looking for an au pair, so you just need to turn on notifications for the group and pay attention when a potential host family posts. If it sounds like a good fit, comment and message them to reach out!

What to look for in an au pair host family

Once you have narrowed down where you want to find your au pair job, you can start with the most fun part of the whole application process – finding a host family! As you search, consider the following:

1. Benefits – You’ll want to know what benefits the host family is offering (above minimum reqs), such as a cell phone plan, use of a car, paying for language classes, etc.
2. A private space of your own — During my first au pair experience, my bedroom was in the basement of the family’s home. This was fine with me, but what was less fine was the fact that when I got there, I found out that the door was glass-paneled and the son’s gaming setup was right outside the door 😬. As an introvert, it’s important to me to have a space of my own to retreat to when I need quiet time or alone time – so with my second au pair adventure, I made sure my host family had a spacious guest bedroom for me. I was okay with sharing a bathroom with the children (a common arrangement), but this is also something you might care about.
3. Clear expectations — This should definitely get outlined in your contract, but to set yourself up for success, it’s good to look for a family that can lay out their expectations clearly from the beginning (in their profile, post, or initial messages). Here are some types of expectations you might want to ask about: What do the parents expect falls under “childcare” and want you to be responsible for. For example, are they a no screens allowed household? Do they expect you to come up with a schedule of activities for every day, plan weekly playdates, or assist the kids with homework? How much cooking, food prep, or feeding responsibilities will you have as part of the kids’ daily care?
4. A parenting style you agree with — For me, more than anything else, this is perhaps the one non-starter. If the parents have a particular parenting style that goes against your personal beliefs about how to raise children, just pass. As an au pair, you’ll have a unique role as a childcare provider but also a quasi-member of the family. Even in wonderful host families, it can be tricky if you and the parents disagree about how to teach, reward, and discipline their children. In the best cases, you’ll feel like you’re on the parents’ team and truly family, proud of and responsible for the little ones’ growth and development. This is infinitely easier when you all share a similar approach to parenting.
5. Any non-negotiables – For example: f you’re a vegetarian, make sure that the family is happy to keep groceries stocked that you can eat (and vice versa- that you’re comfortable with if/how they’ll ask you to contribute to cooking for the children’s diets).
6. Do video interviews with families — You need to vet them as much as they’re vetting you! Make sure to speak with them on video at least once before you decide you want to live with them for months.
7. A solid contract — Before you book your flights, make sure you and the family have read, contributed to, and signed an au pair contract. You can find many examples of au pair contracts online, so I’m not going to go into everything that should be included. However, the things I see come up as issues most often during an au pair experience are:
   • 1) How many hours you’re expected to work each week, and how you’ll be compensated if extra hours are required (whether it’s overtime or for additional date-night babysitting).
   • 2) who will cover expenses that may come up such as groceries (for only yourself or if you purchase food on the family’s behalf), gas for a family car, and medical care.
   • 3) whether there are any stipulations on benefits based on the duration of your contract, such as vacation days, a bonus, or covering return travel if you stay with them for the amount of time written into your contract.
8. **As always, use your internet safety smarts. I’m not saying this to scare you, but there are scammers out there, and there’s always a risk when you’re flying to another country to live with someone you’ve never met. Pay attention to the details in a host family’s profile as the first line of defense – looking for photos, proper grammar (at least in their first language), and reasonable expectations/offers (this means not over-the-top as well as not outrageously demanding). Make sure to have a phone call or video call with the family, ask for host family references, and have a signed contract. Before you leave, make sure you get their home address and full names, and leave this information with a trusted family member or friend, and if you’re American, register with the State Department’s STEP smart traveler program (this is good practice for any kind of travel, honestly!)

How to write a good profile or au pair family letter 

Time to pause for a quick reflection exercise! This will only take 10 minutes, and I promise it will be very helpful for writing an au-pair job-seeking post or host family letter.

Grab a pen and notebook or open a new document, and take a few minutes to journal. set a timer for 3 minutes for each of the following 3 questions:

1. Why do you want to be an au pair? What are you hoping to get out of the experience?
2. What kind of daily life do you want to have as an au pair?
   • rural vs. city location
   • big sibling/member of the family vibe vs. more autonomy and independence?
   • being at home with the kids vs. having free time during the day (while at school or daycare)?
3. Write down in a list every childcare experience you can think of.
   • Have siblings or cousins you’ve helped take care of? Coached any kids sports teams? Tutored? Volunteered at a non-profit or religious place of worship? Any experiences where you have been responsible for children’s wellbeing, growth, or development will help you stand out when finding the best au pair jobs.

This reflection exercise will help you be a good candidate in two ways: 

1. It will help you stay focused when searching for jobs on ones that will actually be a good fit for you. It’s easy to get swept away in romanticizing a countryside life, but if the nearest coffee shop being 20+ miles away sounds like the start of a horror movie to you, it wouldn’t actually be the best fit! 

2. It will prepare you to be able to answer parents’ questions about your reasons for wanting to be an au pair with confidence, and provide you with natural questions to ask them (remember, interviewing goes both ways!)

Okay – so now you have a better idea of where to find the best au pair jobs, what to look for in a host family, and have reminded yourself of why you’re embarking on this journey… I think you’re ready!!

How to apply for au pair jobs

1. Create a bio — Introduce who you are, your personality, your childcare experience from the reflection exercise above, and a few unique-to-you elements of au pairing that you’ll be amazing at (maybe you’ve been a swim instructor and can help teach their little ones to swim! Or maybe you’re the BEST at braiding princess-worthy hairdos and playing pretend)
2. Add some photos to your profile or post. Photos are a great way to show your personality, hobbies, and experience with children – just remember to always ask permission before using photos with children, OR use a blur tool or emojis to cover their faces.  
3. Get your references together (OR start babysitting or volunteering to get some, if you don’t currently have anyone who’d feel comfortable taking a call or email and wholeheartedly recommend you as a nanny/au pair)
4. Create a template for messaging families you’re interested in. Include a few sentences about you, your childcare experience, when you’re available and how long you’re looking to stay, and personalize it for each family with something that excites you about their host family profile or au pair job listing.
   Remember that ultimately, your au pair host family will be welcoming you into their lives, home, and trusting you with the care of their precious little ones, so it’s important that you establish a connection as humans, people with personalities. 
5. Create a couple saved searches or turn on notifications for the Facebook groups you’re in. Try to set aside a bit of time every day to check for replies to your messages, and to see if there are any new jobs you want to apply for. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t get responses to all your messages – in fact I’d say a 25% response rate would be considered pretty good!
6. Try to respond to any messages you get from potential host families within 24 hours, and once you’ve had a bit of back and forth, set up a video call to meet the family and kids. There’s no harm in talking to multiple families at the same time, but be considerate with everyone’s time by being transparent and letting families know if you’ve decided it’s not the right au pair job for you.
7. When you’ve mutually decided this is the right fit, create and sign an au pair contract that outlines all the expectations, benefits, hours, and pay.

Let the Adventure Begin!

More than anything else, I hope you embrace the unique twists and turns of the au pair adventure, from crafting a profile that is authentically you to sticking to your boundaries & desires through the application process—because your au pair journey will have the greatest chance of success when you stay true to you!

Best of luck, and please drop a comment below to share your own au pair experience if you’d like :)